Random thoughts

Have you ever wonder what happens when we cease to exist?

I got this near to death feeling last Saturday. So we threw a surprise party for our dear friend. I was just going home from a friend's house. And we were driving on the highway. I was miles away from home. It was 12 something at night. And then my chest suddenly hurt so bad. It wasn't the pain you got when you got your heart broken. It was a new pain I have never felt before. That moment I thought I was gonna die. Drowsiness was all over me but I was too afraid to sleep. I was aware that when I slept, I wouldn't be able to make it. I talked much to keep me awake still. I didn't even tell my friends that my chest hurt like hell. I kept praying I would make it home somehow. I kept my breath steady. I wondered when the last breath was, when my heart was gonna stop pumping the blood, when the pulse was gonna stop. I looked out the window and cherished every view on the highway. It was dark with some dimmed lights on the side of the road but enough to let us see the way. That probably was gonna be my last.

I started to wonder what if I couldn't make it home that night, would anyone miss me? Would anyone look for me? Would anyone wonder why? Would anyone cry for me? Would anyone rue the day they didn't treat me well?