Another greetings!
I have been reading many love stories lately and have been imagining what it's like to love again. Opening up about relationship in my previous post surely brings back memories from the past. It still hurts me to the deepest soul. Like I said I was traumatized. I am too afraid to go anywhere for chances are our path will cross again, but this time it will definitely not be a joyous meeting for the love of my life has been in a relationship. It is a small world after all. Our path will cross again one day.
I know it is time for me well... to give the hell up and move the fuck on. To be honest, I moved on but maybe not completely because the pain is still there. The thought of seeing the love of my life with someone else is so agonizing.
Sudden mood changes happen to me all the time. One minute it was all sunshines and rainbows, the next minute it was all dark and gloomy. People are asking me what is wrong but how can I tell them? It is pointless. I know what they'll say to calm me down. 'You should move on', 'there's plenty of fish in the water', 'you are stupid' all those kinds of shit.
Yes, I am jealous, present tense. I am so envious towards seeing you with another person and I hate the fact that that person is better than me. I hate that I can do nothing to change that. The truth has dawned on me. I hate the truth. I hate it. It hurts. I keep telling myself I should wish you all the best, wish you a happy life. But I can't. I just can't.
Maybe I am just that selfish.
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